The Writer Who Couldn’t Write

By: Andrea Kruz

Gather around ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary friends to listen to one woman’s journey from avid reader to potential writer. This tale is about a young woman (okay, a middle-aged woman) who had a career hiccup, leaving her a little without purpose. Work, kids, and being an adult had resulted in very few hours to herself, so with more free time, she dove back into something she loved--reading. As a voracious romance and fantasy reader, she read about 250 books a year for a few years. At some point, stories started to appear in her head. Sometimes it was just scenes or a few lines of text, but the ideas kept coming. Then characters and storylines started developing. Still with time on her hands, she decided to try her hand at writing down these stories. 

Not to ruin the ending, but this tale is about me, Andrea, a 40-something mother of three, still between jobs, living in Southeastern Ontario. I struggled with my self-esteem after my career hiccup, and reading was an escape. So was brainstorming ideas for my own books. Pretty soon, I had created the rough plans for a four-book series and a whole town. But, since nothing is easy, I discovered a problem. I couldn’t write. I tried multiple times to start my book but got nowhere. I would write and rewrite each line so many times. It was not working. My dialogue was stilted and awkward. I over explained things, and it sounded really robotic. Even I wouldn’t read what I wrote. How was I to get these stories out of my head?  How would I share them?  

I will admit to something now–I am a Millennial. I know, I know, we get a bad rep, but I want to qualify that I am an Elder Millennial, right on the cusp of being Gen X. That means I grew up as technology advanced and was an early adopter but recently have sort of hit a wall when it comes to new tech like TikTok. All this to say, I still use Facebook.  

Back to the story: with my writing flopping and feeling nothing but discouragement, I turned to some Facebook groups I had been following, and I asked a question. Could I still write a book if I couldn’t write the actual prose? Like, could I outline a book and find someone else to write it for me? Ghost writing, I suppose. I thought it was a long shot. Famous writers like Danielle Steele and Tom Clancy have been known to provide detailed outlines to writers who then write the actual story for them. But Danielle and Tom, I am not. Then I met Tabi.

My Facebook post resulted in a chance introduction to Tabi–a writer from Georgia who answered my question. Yes, it’s not the norm, but sometimes writers develop the story, write the outline, then hire someone else to write the book. Was this what I was looking to do? She was interested in hearing more. So I sent her my story synopsis, character outline, and some additional details. She sent me the first chapter, and although it was objectively good, it was written in the third person. Third-person narration annoys me, and since I had nothing to lose, I asked Tabi about writing in first person. She agreed and gave it a go--the chapter came back even better.  

With the premise for my story in the hands of my collaborator, I began putting together some detailed notes for the next few chapters. I included a scene name, the characters involved, the location, whose POV it was written in, and to keep our story timeline accurate, the date for the scene. Then I typed the story in my choppy, disjointed writing, with notes in parentheses. I included some descriptions and some dialogue, but left 'finding the words' to my co-creator. I will admit I cried when I received some of the chapters. It was so exciting to see my story in writing.  

I provided some feedback to each chapter, but I discovered that as we found our groove and our characters developed, Tabi’s writing needed fewer and fewer edits from me.  Each chapter kept getting better. My co-creator understood all of my characters and their motivations.  

Weeks went on, and more chapters were added. We paused at chapter five to make sure we were both okay with our current direction and enjoying what we were doing. It seemed like we fell into a well-matched partnership. My Co-creator, Tabi, asked probing questions to help me flesh out the story. She added details to characters that I never would have thought of and absolutely killed the dialogue! We were off to a great start!

There were a few places where, after getting my notes, Tabi suggested a whole different approach to a chapter or a completely new chapter. And she was right–the story needed those things. I was worried that two brains working on one story would be messy, that the storylines would become muddied and disjointed. But what I discovered is that it's like an improv skit. I said yes to her changes and it triggered ideas of my own - yes, and....!

Now we are finished book number one and have books 2 and 3 well underway. Will we sell a million copies and make a bestseller list? Maybe not. Does it feel good to have accomplished something in the midst of my own career catastrophe? Yes. Will we keep doing this? Yes. Stay Tuned!